Prozac: Day Twenty Two

Feeling incredibly blank the last 2 days. I don’t know why. It’s like my motivation to do anything is suddenly gone again. My anxiety has returned about the money I owe and being without a job. I’ve done everything already and there’s no point in going out anymore and I just lie there and watch whatever comes on the television.

The heat and humidity is not helping either. It’s just another thing to complain about. I have a big “fuck you” in my thoughts whenever I see someone else or have to interact with anybody. Just give me what I want and leave me alone.

Last week, I saw a nice woman working at the library that I like to interact with. She’s always pleasant and makes me feel better, smiling at me and being pretty and stuff. Today, I just didn’t want to see or talk to anybody, even myself.

Usually, when I am in a good mood, I talk to myself. It’s like I am kind of practicing having conversations with someone else, so I can feel more comfortable when I actually do it. I haven’t done this in two days.

My mind is very very quiet… Also, I started 20mg today and I think it’s about damn time for this shit to show itself to me.