Lunch Hour

King Burger: Filling the home of the King of Burgers is the pungent contents spilled out from two school buses. They are migrant workers recently arrived from Mexico and each one of them, including the children are so hungry they could eat the asshole out of a dead horse. Each of them are also suffering from multiple personality disorder and speak constantly to themselves and to others at random.

The maître d' for this King Burger has a hard time understanding the Mexican migrant workers because they are from a land far, far away and also because they are from Mexico. At this moment, the King himself of this particular King Burger, being finally taken to the limit of sanity, cannot keep up with the amount of orders and cannot cook like the wind as he was trained to do and he collapses on the kitchen floor in a pool of his own used up ketchup packets. He is quickly replaced by "King Burger II" and after the inauguration ceremony the burgers continue to be made, but still at the pace of a fucking migrating starfish. Each order is expected to take one year, six months to complete and a decision is made to go somewhere else for lunch.

Pizza Empress: Two hundred high school kids have planned a coup on the Pizza Empress and will not stop until her reign of terror is overthrown. At this popular place of eating, no kind of food can be seen being eaten or even being made for that matter. Five girls, wearing everything Avril has ever been seen wearing or has ever mentioned before are sitting at a table talking about absolutely nothing as loud as possible. One of the girls is on a Social Studies project and has computerized negro baby under her arm. She is either being taught how much of a responsible person you need to be if you have unprotected sex, or how to neglect your child properly. Possibly both. She talks to her four so called friends about Avril and how dumb everything is and adds another layer of black shoe polish to her pathetically pasty white eyelids. Two weeks later, her Social Studies teacher, Mrs. Landers, gives her an award for taking care of the plastic negro baby for two whole weeks without killing it or neglecting it and is pronounced completely fit for motherhood. Everyone applauds.

The Empress herself is pretty freaked out at this point. It’s her seventeenth birthday and she’s been left alone to look after the pizza. She would be a pretty girl if it weren’t for the bad day she is obviously having. The day is not bad because of the coup, she is used to that and was fully prepared for it when she started working at this Pizza Empress that is next to a high school. The day is bad because there are old people there actually wanting food in a timely manner. She is young, unprepared for such a dramatic rush of equally young people rushing towards her and as a result, it’s the young people only that end up getting served in any form of accuracy. The older people, some of them even in their late twenties, are herded to a corner beside the cash register to stand and pray for some kind of eye contact with the Empress. No such contact occurs and the old people eventually run out of time and all need to return to work. One by one, they asked for their money back and ended up walking the walk of the denied back to their jobs.

After this one hour lunch break, I returned to my quiet relaxing job as a telemarketer.

(Changed some spelling in this after posting it. Thanks Sandra, you spelling bee champion you! She has won numerous local bees and is considering going on the pro bee tour some day soon... It's the weekend and I am silly.)