Punishments for the Se7en Deadly Sins.

Pride: You'll be broken on the wheel.
Emotionally or physically? What wheel? Can I see this “wheel” before we begin? Where's my lawyer so he can see this wheel as well!?

Envy: You'll be put in freezing water.
Okay. How long will this Polar Bear Club last? I have heard it’s good for the skin in fact!

Gluttony: You'll be force-fed rats, toads, and snakes.
What's the side order?

Sloth: You'll be thrown into snake pits.
Will I win 10,000 dollars if I can find the key at the bottom of the pit in time?

Lust: You'll be smothered in fire and brimstone.
Smothered? Really? By who? How many of them will there be smothering me and what will they be wearing before they decide to gang-smother me in unison? Is Pam Anderson a part of this smother party? I love this idea already!

Anger: You'll be dismembered alive.
Whatever. If you punish my soul in Hell, that means I am dead. I caught you! HA! I can’t be dismembered “alive” in Hell because I died already! Now you must set me free because I caught you in a lie just like when you catch a leprechaun in the woods!

Greed: You'll be boiled alive in oil.
Alright. Fuck this religious lesson. Boiled alive in oil?! That's going way too far man. That's just way too far.