The Parents Television Council Can Eat My Ass With a Spoon

(lol disclaimer lol); I hate 90% of the media, almost all of the FOX network and also waterfalls. I honestly don’t mean to offend any parent out there that might read this except if you are one of those parents that treat your kids like they are the cause of all of your problems. If you are one of those parents, you suck and I hate you.


(This monster truck is soooooo cool! It says "What would Jesus CRUSH?" on the front! Wow!)

I read this article of the CNN Website of Doom last week [WEBLINK!]. I was going to just paste the article here like I normally do, but I wanted to help out cnn.com by adding a few links to it's site and hopefully giving it a bit of traffic from my site. It’s a pretty good news site and you should click the above link and show your support so it stays up and running... K, done reading the article? Good. Let us continue.

First of all, did you know there was a The Parents Television Council? If you answered yes, you are totally lying. It’s basically a group of Christian fundamentalists that decided to gain a bit of credibility by calling themselves something other than “Christian fundamentalists”. So, instead of making a public mockery of themselves and their religion by waving enormous brass crosses and screaming at gay people, they decided to call themselves The Parents Television Council in hopes of maybe fooling two or three people into thinking they know what the hell they are talking about.

Recently, this “Council” decided to tell the parents of the world what was “good” to let their children to watch on TV and what was “bad”. Now, this is normal these days and I don’t really have a huge problem with this. People giving detailed instructions on how to behave in society is sadly a regular thing in the media these days. It’s worthless crap most of the time and pretty easy to ignore. Now, what I do have a problem with is The Parents Television Council. Yes, The Parents Television Council. Why you ask? Check this quote out by Brent Bozell, which I think is the divinely appointed Pope of this council or something:

"Families should not be deceived. The top three worst shows all contain crude and raunchy dialogue with sex-themed jokes and foul language. Even worse is the fact that Hollywood is peddling its filth to families with cartoons."

What he’s babbling about is the top three shows on the list: “The War at Home”, “The Family Guy” and “American Dad”, all of which are on the FOX network.

Go fuck yourself Parents Television Council. You think that families are being “deceived” by these shows because the shows are cartoons? How stupid do you think we are? It only took me 5 seconds of watching my first Family Guy episode to understand two things: that it was targeted to idiot stoners like myself and that it was fucking hilarious. Oh and hey, Pope Brent or whatever your name is, if you think anything that’s a cartoon means it’s targeted to children, I could show you some hentai porn that would deceive you and your family from here till next Tuesday!


(Patrick Duffy's diembodied laserbeam shooting floating head attacking a baby has nothing at all to do with this article)

The Parents Television Council are blaming the media when it should be blaming the unfit parents for using the TV as a babysitter. Why? Because it’s easier to blame it on one thing as opposed to the real answer; everything.

Don’t get me wrong though; The FOX network, as we all know, is owned and run by Satan himself, but blaming them for “deceiving” families is like blaming the crazy homeless man on the corner because he convinced you that the government is run by Polish zombies. We all know that most media is crap. Pope Brent, stop expecting it to be all flowers and bunnies and start looking at the parents. Oh, and get a haircut and a real job while you are at it!



Finally, CNN quoted FOX’s response to this announcement by the Jesus Council like this;

“A Fox spokesman said the network never comments on reports by the Parents Television Council.”

I would like to translate this response into the more honest non-politically correct response using a powerful computer with lots of lights on it and many switches and buttons as well… Okay, the actual response is ready. Here it is;

”We think that the Parents Television Council are a bunch of fucking idiots and we ignore everything they say about us. I like fudge!”

Okay. I made up the fudge part, but that’s pretty much what FOX and myself say about this Council of repressed idealist God cronies.


Jesus loves you…