Making Moves

Two days ago, I was out having a smoke when I came to the conclusion that I had nothing left that I could do. The job interviews I had had were really good ones. Really good. I answered the questions like a pro. I did everything that I could possibly do to get the job, but never did. Shit, I was applying for jobs designed for fucking monkeys off the street, and still got rejected.

It was like a brick hitting me. I could do no better than what I had already done, and I was still in the same place, smoking in someone’s back yard listening to the snow plows. Realizing that I couldn’t do it anymore got me really really scared.

Instead of laying myself on the nearest train track, I asked for help.

I went to the doctor today. I was pretty nervous. I had a cheat sheet of stuff I wanted to say in my pocket, which I kept glancing at in the waiting room. It was pretty nerve racking sitting there with the other sick people. Most of my fellow waiting room members were mostly old people with more simple things to treat. What’s that note say on the wall? What? I have to pay 20 dollars for a doctor’s note? But, I’ve only got 6 in my bank account. Shit. What am I going to do? If he prescribes me anything, I won’t be able to afford it. This woman going in now is walking really slowly and carefully. I bet it’s some kind of leg or hip problem she’s got. Pain killers for her and she’ll be on her way. What is he going to ask me? Have I memorized my notes enough? Everyone here has normal problems. What’s he going to think of me and my dirty brain? This guy doesn’t even know me. How can he know what I need so quickly? What about this guy sitting in the corner? He’s reading some kind of pamphlet with a symbol for the men’s room on it and there are diagrams of the male reproductive system as well. I wonder, does he have problems with his penis? Maybe he had a gay discreet encounter at a shady bar with a guy named Mike and wants to get tested for the fag virus? Shit, he’s just a normal doctor, dealing with people with hemorrhoids and unruly bowels and hip problems, why would he be concerned about my sob story of sadness and woe? Shit, why am I here?

He didn’t care, as I knew he wouldn’t, but he did refer me to someone else that is paid to give a shit. We shall see.

2005 sure is an interesting year indeed.

I Miss Having Sidewalks to Walk On

Starting the 31st
Monday 10:00am
100 Dundas 6^th floor phone 6710 Heidi
Photo ID
Resume

Lucky star lucky lucky star. Lucky star.

What Was I Saying?

Another interview that seemed to go well. Everyone at Spherion was very nice to me. Then again, that's their job. Who knows for sure?

He Really Looks Almost Lifelike. You Can't Even See the Strings.

"Throughout the world, people of all religions recognize Jesus Christ as an example of love, compassion, sacrifice and service. Reaching out to the poor, the suffering and the marginalized, he provided moral leadership that continues to inspire countless men, women and children today.

To honor his life and teachings, Christians of all races and denominations have joined together to designate June 10 as Jesus Day. As part of this celebration of unity, they are taking part in the 10th annual March for Jesus in cities throughout the Lone Star State. The march, which began in Austin in 1991, is now held in nearly 180 countries. Jesus Day challenges people to follow Christ's example by performing good works in their communities and neighborhoods. By nursing the sick, feeding the poor or volunteering in homeless shelters, everyone can play a role in making the world a better place.

I urge all Texans to answer the call to serve those in need. By volunteering their time, energy or resources to helping others, adults and youngsters follow Christ's message of love and service in thought and deed.

Therefore, I, George W. Bush, Governor of Texas, do hereby proclaim June 10, 2000, Jesus Day in Texas and urge the appropriate recognition whereof, in official recognition whereof, I hereby affix my signature this 17th day of April, 2000."

Another Prop To Somewhere Else

I finished the History of Mustard last night. It's an article I wrote for Winterwind. I am told it's "not bad".

Read it... Here. Join the forums as well if you give a shit.

Do I Go Further Down?

I am promoting someone elses blog tonight because, to be honest, I am a really quiet person that keeps to himself and really dosent' have much to say most of the time. Oh, I have a blog as well. (?)

The internets are full of shitty blogs rapt with angst, all of which piss me off at their stupidity and attention whoreing. That being said, I really don't want to talk about today and my problems, as they are my own. But, let it be said that I fell apart almost to the very bottom tonight. Tears were involved. Yeah.

Anyway asshole, check out Satan's Laundromat. It's a blog from New York, you fucks! Oh, hey! Why don't you kiss my ass while you're at it!

OUT

We Would Like to Welcome Walker Transport to the Game

The London Knights won 5 - 4 in overtime, with only 20 seconds to spare. Really nice hockey and a really nice Christmas present. Thanks for the seats, Tim. Nice one.



My brother caught the game winning puck as well. He gave it to the kid sitting behind us. Not that he deserved it or anything, the fucking snot nosed bastard, but hockey pucks go to the kids and always will.


God, I miss the NHL...

Oh! Speaking of the NHL;
Fuck you and die, you ingrate franchise owners!!!

Hey, I have a question for the owners of the companies that OWN the hockey players; does it give you a hard-on (also known as a "boner" or "erection" or "sin" if you are catholic) knowning that you have all these athletic slaves at your very whim and command to do as you will with no regard to anything but profits?

All you NHL team owners are invited to eat my thick, brown shit with a ladel or perhaps a spatula, whichever is handy at the time. I will add some carrots and perhaps some parsley to my shit meal because I know you love all that high brow, mighty stuff, you Armani suit wearing son's of bitches!!!1!!!one!!1!!lol!!

A Trio of Screaming Children Infest Me

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

It’s fun to penetrate everyone’s very soul with your high pitched squealing, isn’t it?

Good times on this nice, quiet Saturday night.

Keirsey Character Sorter

This is the link for the Sorter: advisorteam.com

The following was the results of the Sorter when I took it almost 3 years ago:
-----
They are very abstract in their thoughts and speech and introverted in their personal relationships. They present a seemingly tranquil and content face to the world, and though all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved and they care deeply and passionately about a very few special persons or a favorite cause and their aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world.

They have a profound sense of idealism (they know what is “perfect” and they wont settle for anything less) derived from a strong personal morality (they believe that they deserve it). People like them are found in only one percent of the world’s population, but the “idealism” makes them think they are even more isolated from the rest of the world.

They seek unity, perfection and peace in life, most likely because they have a sense of inner division threaded throughout their life, which comes often from an unhappy childhood. They lived a fantasy-filled childhood, which, unfortunately, is discouraged by many parents and forced into unwanted social situations, which was made more difficult by brothers or sisters that conformed to these parental expectations.

In the end, they come to see themselves as “ugly ducklings”. Wishing to please their parents and siblings, but not knowing quite how to do it, they try to hide their true selves and differences, believing they are bad to be so imaginary and fanciful, so unlike their more solid and normal peers. They wonder, some of them for the rest of their lives, whether they are actually okay.

They are deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, they can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, love and hate, sacred and profane, constantly on the lookout for the wickedness and evil that they believe lurks within them. All these things in an inner turmoil and is hardly detected, for the struggle between good and evil is within the person and that person does not feel compelled to make his feelings public.
-----

I just took the same test just now and got almost the exact same results as 3 years earlier. I don't know why, but I think that is cool.

About A Time When You Had to Deal With a Bad Situation... What Was The Result?

Had an interview at Teletech today. It went really well. They didn't dwell on the fact that I have been fired from the last 2 jobs I have had and was just looking for fresh bodies; thanks for not caring as usual, human resources!

After the interview, I went and saw a film called "What Remains of Us". It was a movie made by the National Film Board of Canada and was about a woman traveling to Tibet with a smuggled video message from the Dali Lama... It was one of the most depressing films I have ever seen.

Then, I came home and got drunk...



And that was the Tuesday that was.

Repeat After Me; "AB-Normal... It's The New Normal... $29.95!!!"

It's been a few days without updating this blog... And here I was thinking that I had something to say to the world. How wrong I was! And now, it's a new year! Where did a thing like a new year come from? A new fucking year to keep saying the same things over and over again to the same people over and over again in hopes of seeming normal just for a few seconds. How sad things are, how repetitive everything is, how unmotivating this fucking world seems, how repetitive everything is, with it's reality tv and personal acomplishments involving showing how great you are and nothing else matters but the fucking spotlight! How sad things are, how repetitive everything is, how unmotivating this fucking world seems, how repetitive everything is, how repetitive everything is. Yay! Give it up for 2005 and sell yourself to the highest bidder!

I hate you.