Nowhere to run to

Among Demons and Lazer Beams Showing Infinity With Every Turn

Vistied Alma College in St. Thomas with Sand, Trevor and Amanda yesterday. It was risky, spooky and mildly illegal. Good times.





More pics from the road trip here

Like the Names of Candybars

The Word Has Moved On

Almost four months ago on Christmas Day, my Mom gave me the hardcover new release of "The Dark Tower" by Stephen King, the final seventh book of the most great mindfuck adventue of the 20th century and it was finally in my grasp!

I remember unwrapping that book shaped gift, knowing it was from my mom and therefore knowing perfectly well what it was before seeing it and thinking how shitty is was to have this story in front of me. That might sound weird but at the time, I was a poor, poor man without job and had not been able to afford the previous published book "Song of Susannah" and the mother of mine didn't know this... The book with all the answers was destined to have to wait almost four months on the top of my fridge, collecting dust and trying to be forgotten.

I have been following The Gunslinger in his journey to the Dark Tower for (let me think...) over 12 years now. It was torture getting the last book for Christmas, knowing that I had it, fresh off the presses and couldn't read it until I had Book 6 under my belt.

But now, I am completely in the grasp of "Song of Susannah" and I welcome it's familiar words like the memory of a first kiss.


Book 7 is next...

Burn

It's hard to have blind compassion for every living thing sometimes.

My Brain Farted

Last weekend I woke up at 9am feeling like shit and suddenly found myself walking to the bus stop with my camera. It wasn't the creativity that drove me out of the house though; it was the pulling desire for the sausage & egg McMuffin that got me out of bed on that day. Curse you, Ronald and your feindish ways!

It was rainy and cold out and taking pictures outdoors was not going to happen. I ended up checking out a science fair and took this shot of a lonely kid with the BIG answers about flies. I never asked him about what that answer was, as I believe the true answer about flies lies within ourselves and we all must find it on our own personal journey...









Every weekend so far for past 4 weeks and the following 2 weeks is filled with plans to go somewhere and take photos. The creative brain farts never lasts long, so I am doing everything I can to keep this particular fart active and smelling nicely.

Lunch Hour

King Burger: Filling the home of the King of Burgers is the pungent contents spilled out from two school buses. They are migrant workers recently arrived from Mexico and each one of them, including the children are so hungry they could eat the asshole out of a dead horse. Each of them are also suffering from multiple personality disorder and speak constantly to themselves and to others at random.

The maître d' for this King Burger has a hard time understanding the Mexican migrant workers because they are from a land far, far away and also because they are from Mexico. At this moment, the King himself of this particular King Burger, being finally taken to the limit of sanity, cannot keep up with the amount of orders and cannot cook like the wind as he was trained to do and he collapses on the kitchen floor in a pool of his own used up ketchup packets. He is quickly replaced by "King Burger II" and after the inauguration ceremony the burgers continue to be made, but still at the pace of a fucking migrating starfish. Each order is expected to take one year, six months to complete and a decision is made to go somewhere else for lunch.

Pizza Empress: Two hundred high school kids have planned a coup on the Pizza Empress and will not stop until her reign of terror is overthrown. At this popular place of eating, no kind of food can be seen being eaten or even being made for that matter. Five girls, wearing everything Avril has ever been seen wearing or has ever mentioned before are sitting at a table talking about absolutely nothing as loud as possible. One of the girls is on a Social Studies project and has computerized negro baby under her arm. She is either being taught how much of a responsible person you need to be if you have unprotected sex, or how to neglect your child properly. Possibly both. She talks to her four so called friends about Avril and how dumb everything is and adds another layer of black shoe polish to her pathetically pasty white eyelids. Two weeks later, her Social Studies teacher, Mrs. Landers, gives her an award for taking care of the plastic negro baby for two whole weeks without killing it or neglecting it and is pronounced completely fit for motherhood. Everyone applauds.

The Empress herself is pretty freaked out at this point. It’s her seventeenth birthday and she’s been left alone to look after the pizza. She would be a pretty girl if it weren’t for the bad day she is obviously having. The day is not bad because of the coup, she is used to that and was fully prepared for it when she started working at this Pizza Empress that is next to a high school. The day is bad because there are old people there actually wanting food in a timely manner. She is young, unprepared for such a dramatic rush of equally young people rushing towards her and as a result, it’s the young people only that end up getting served in any form of accuracy. The older people, some of them even in their late twenties, are herded to a corner beside the cash register to stand and pray for some kind of eye contact with the Empress. No such contact occurs and the old people eventually run out of time and all need to return to work. One by one, they asked for their money back and ended up walking the walk of the denied back to their jobs.

After this one hour lunch break, I returned to my quiet relaxing job as a telemarketer.

(Changed some spelling in this after posting it. Thanks Sandra, you spelling bee champion you! She has won numerous local bees and is considering going on the pro bee tour some day soon... It's the weekend and I am silly.)

You have 20 seconds left... 10... 5...

This is the most emotionally draining photograph I have ever seen in my life.

Punishments for the Se7en Deadly Sins.

Pride: You'll be broken on the wheel.
Emotionally or physically? What wheel? Can I see this “wheel” before we begin? Where's my lawyer so he can see this wheel as well!?

Envy: You'll be put in freezing water.
Okay. How long will this Polar Bear Club last? I have heard it’s good for the skin in fact!

Gluttony: You'll be force-fed rats, toads, and snakes.
What's the side order?

Sloth: You'll be thrown into snake pits.
Will I win 10,000 dollars if I can find the key at the bottom of the pit in time?

Lust: You'll be smothered in fire and brimstone.
Smothered? Really? By who? How many of them will there be smothering me and what will they be wearing before they decide to gang-smother me in unison? Is Pam Anderson a part of this smother party? I love this idea already!

Anger: You'll be dismembered alive.
Whatever. If you punish my soul in Hell, that means I am dead. I caught you! HA! I can’t be dismembered “alive” in Hell because I died already! Now you must set me free because I caught you in a lie just like when you catch a leprechaun in the woods!

Greed: You'll be boiled alive in oil.
Alright. Fuck this religious lesson. Boiled alive in oil?! That's going way too far man. That's just way too far.

How dumb can a smart person get?

I try very very hard not to hate people, as it's a useless emotion to dwell on and serves no purpose. You see, among other things, I hate Paris Hilton, reality TV, Rush Limbaugh, radical religious groups, gansta rap, cookies with rasins in them and every four years, I hate 90% of the American Olympic Team (the 10% not included is of course the female gymnastics team. I love them!). Therefore, I try not to talk or think about these things.

Also, I try very very hard not to give attention whores any kind of spotlight, as they don’t really care what is said about them, just that it’s being said.

With that being said, I have found a small list of some of the things Republican bitch queen Ann Coulter has said over the last few years and am posting them just for the sheer sake of letting everyone reading this know how utterly confused I am about how a person like this can be so powerful in American politics. I refuse to believe she actually agrees with everything that comes out of her mouth. No one can be that blind. Even an American.

Think about it. How much attention would this blog get if I started writing that I hated black people, supported torture as the only right form of punishment for kids, told everyone that the only proper place for a woman is on her knees in front of me and supported pedophilia as an art form? Ann Coulter is exactly the same as that; shocking and the opposite of normal human values. Ann (and Fox News for that matter) has found the tender spot in the media that hurts the most and is punching and punching like there’s no tomorrow. And the sad thing is the public are eating it up, not as what it is (very frightening polital views by the majority), but as another piece of “must see TV”! I can’t believe that part of it! “Hey! Pat O’Brian is on! I wonder what he’s going to say tonight!?” It’s not supposed to be shocking! Go watch Jerry Springer if you want that kind of entertainment, ass!

"God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours."---Hannity & Colmes, 6/20/01

"The backbone of the Democratic Party is a typical fat, implacable welfare recipient."---syndicated column 10/29/99

To a disabled Vietnam vet: "People like you caused us to lose that war."---MSNBC

On Princess Diana's death: "Her children knew she's sleeping with all these men. That just seems to me, it's the definition of 'not a good mother.' ... Is everyone just saying here that it's okay to ostentatiously have premarital sex in front of your children? I've never had bulimia! I've never had an affair! I've never had a divorce! So I don't think she's better than I am."---MSNBC 9/12/97

"I think there should be a poll tax for people to vote."---Hannity & Colmes, 8/17/99

"I think women should be armed but should not be allowed to vote."---Politically Incorrect, 2/26/01

"If you don't hate Clinton and the people who labored to keep him in office, you don't love your country."---George, 7/99

"I have to say I'm all for public flogging. One type of criminal that a public humiliation might work particularly well with are the juvenile delinquents, a lot of whom consider it a badge of honor to be sent to juvenile detention. And it might not be such a cool thing in the 'hood to be flogged publicly."---MSNBC 3/22/97

"Originally, I was the only female with long blonde hair. Now, they all have long blonde hair!"---CapitolHillBlue.com 6/6/00

"Anorexics never have boyfriends. ... That's one way to know you don't have anorexia, if you have a boyfriend."---Politically Incorrect 7/21/97

Cliffhanger for Jesus 2: Judgment Day

How awesome would it be to be a radical Christian fundamentalist in times like these? Totally awesome is the only answer.

Terry died yesterday, and now the Pope, the Pope himself is hanging on by a thread, surrounded by bishops and Jedi. I am told by CNN (the website of doom) that he’s about to “meet the embrace of the Holy Father”, which sounds pretty cool actually. After he finally dies, there’s the mourning, the funeral, the new pope selection process, more mourning, even more mourning and of course the concluding clown parade down the streets of Vatican City. From what I know of Catholicism, this should be an interesting few days, full of gaudy ceremonies and lots of dudes in robes with incense.

Anyway, before I go out to drink beer in honor of the Pope and also my friends birthday, I would like to post 2 pictures of Anna Kournikova and her husband Enrique Englasieas that the Pope himself took from nearly ¼ mile away with his new Canon EF 300mm f/3.5-5.6L lens (kick ass lens).

Thanks Pope! You’re awesome Pope! I drink this night in memory of whatever it was that you did while you were alive. Have a good afterlife and stuff!